Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Dear Diary,
Who am I? Who are you? Thats a good question. What gives my name meaning and substance. Pek Kim Yew, 3 letters, 9 alphabets, hack I even throw in a picture. So what exactly makes me, Me?
I am here today to argue the fact that character is actually found on the outside.
For so many years, the life I had lived and the life I am about to live, what have I done that truely defines me. Or have I really even Lived my life, my way.
I am lucky to be born into a well to do family, I have loving parents. But I guess too loving has its side effects, cause and effects. I remember one sentence from the book " For one more day " by Mitch Albom. A child should never have to choose.
Come home straight after school, or else.
I did. Didnt want to get into trouble.
Sleep early, or else.
I did, 8 latest during primary school.
Study hard they said, or else.
I did, at least till I was old enough to fight back against the cane.
Get in ACS(I), or else.
Got into the school next door, FMSS, seen as an inferior.
Science, Biology is THE subject, good for the future they said.
I did. Triple science it was, Biology at A levels.
Guess I didnt really choose much. I was ruled with an iron fist, it was so clear cut, either u follow or else.
Should I thank them for laying this path for me. Well it got me where I am today. I turned out ok, never took drugs or anything illegal. Yeah, guess I turned out fine.
Resistance was futile. Did I want to resist in the first place, was I taught to?
My younger days was dictated by my parents, they chose for me. I lived the life they wanted me to. It was the right thing, it was good for me, for my future. I guess thats the job of parents, the invisible handbook.
From what i see, People are all born lost. Parents put u facing a certain direction. They decide where u should take ur first steps, at least before you could decide what was good or bad. Before ur conscience even existed, they were there, holding you by the hand and telling you this is the way life is.
Parents do it because its only in the early years that you can be shaped. Thats the time when this so called substance can be filled within. Things got to be set right before the clay hardens.
Because once its too late, change usually result in sacrifice, lost and pain.
How about those not so fortunate as me? Those without guidance. Look where they end up, still lost and left behind by society. Of course there are exceptions, but even exceptions need some sort of guidance.
My parents arnt the only strict ones around, which parents do not want their kid to grow up to be smart, good looking and ultimately be a doctor or lawyer. Anything other than that is all compromise. Surely they are other parents out there with similar teachings. Do their kids end up to have similar characters as me? definitely.
Zodiacs and horoscopes all classifies people into their different characteristics. Moreover the reason why we have friends is because we often sort for "Like-minded" people. Birds of the same feather indeed congregate together. So on one hand my parents did influence me into becoming what I am today but then, there are others like me.
LoL so what really makes me, Me? If you cut a square from a piece of paper. Using the same technique is only going to give you more squares. All tigress bring up their cubs the same way, just like all animals.
So wheres this "character" everyone is talking about. All the bullshit about something within your heart and soul. Sadly in my opinion, this has long became a myth.
What defines me ironically can be too, clearly listed.
1) looks
2) the way I talk
3) the way I dress
4) the way I walk
5) the way I eat
6) the way I sleep
7) the movies I like to watch
8) the food I like to eat
9) the color I like
etc etc
Countless of surveys telling you that U are what u eat, the color you like reflects who u are etc.
And this is so true. Its in the little things. These daily things are who I am. Not because I was brought up a certain way. Who am I? Who are you?
Ans the above questions urself and you will find out. No need for soul searching, why bother.
Like they say, The answer is out there. Who the Fuck says it was in there???????
Shut the Fuck up And listen -5:30 AM
